Saturday, May 9, 2009

Paper Planes

The bastards in accounting took our coffee away. The good kind that is (they left the bad variety there). Something to do with cost cutting and the like.
Wankers.

It's surprising how much an average corporation survives on the daily cup of coffee. You come to my office and I'll show you zombies like the kind you nightmared about. Zombies with good taste mind you, cause we refuse to touch the bad coffee, even with a ten foot pole.

Also, our first kill is going to be an accountant.

I've got the flu. The seasonal flu that is. Not the swine kinds. But everytime I sneeze in the subway, people turn away and look at me as if they're about to report me to the CDC, in case I sneeze again. I always try and sneeze again. It's fun to play with people's fears. Paranoid people are the lowest in Darwin's hierarchy and need to be flushed out.

You think if I sneezed a third time they might have a stroke and die?

Played poker 2 weekends in a row. Lost in poker two weekends in a row. My phuphaji always said "unlucky in cards, lucky in love" after he'd thrash me in courtpiece. I repeated that to myself two weekends in a row. Nothings changed.

Actually, I take that back. A lot has changed. Maybe it's the peekaboo of summer or the possibility of a brilliant holiday in France in June. Or just that I had an ice cream cone with hot chocolate sauce dribbled liberally over it. Regardless.

So fuck them accountants. I'm buying my own coffee.

10 comments:

The happy traveller said...

bastards took our old coffee machine away n replaced it with another one too..coffee's ok but there's no music n beauty left anymore...sigh!! did i mention im also working this saturday? double sigh (for lack of a double expresso)

Scarlett said...

Starbucks is the way to go!! With a couple of Starbucks (atleast) in every block in NYC, that shouldn't be a problem.

Shirali said...

This is just the start... wait till the hand towels in loos are replaced and the free snacks start getting charged and ACs are switched off on holidays (when you obviously are expected to work)... the thrills of working for Indian companies :(

Australis said...

The best line I have heard in a while about the latest pandemic scare.

You know how they used to say that pigs will fly the day America elects a black president? Well, they weren't too far from the truth. Just about a 100 days after Obama took office, swine flu.

Anonymous said...

About the coffee situation: You would think an investment banker could atleast afford his own cuppa. :P To be lucky in love, you should be able to afford two. :)

And about the flu: Have fun while it lasts. ;)

LOL @ Australis' conclusion. Maybe pigs aren't far behind.

- A

Gigi said...

I also had a similar experience. Recently, while traveling on the subway with common cold, people started offering me tissues or shifting, moving away from me as if i was down with swine flu.

Asphodel said...

Someones facebook status claimed she has been scaring people the same way on the subway in the UK...

I feel the deprivation of caffeine, I've stopped working and started blogging again though, so thats a good outcome.

Anki said...

oh u recession rats

CrazyDiamond said...

@THT: Wow. Ok I feel better now. Thanks

@Scarlett: Starbucks! seriously? No girl, starbucks is the McDonalds of the coffee world. When you're in NYC, you do whatever you can to not get a starbucks. And thankfully, there're lots of choices.

@Shirali: Would you believe me if I told you American companies are worse? Or maybe it's just a grass is greener thing.

@Australis: Heheheh. I've been copy pasting that to everyone I know. Let this not be an indication of defeat on our long standing feud on who's sense of humour is better.

@A: Everyone, including ibankers, love a bargain. If it was free and then you make us pay for it, we will still complain. It eats into my beer money and thats never good.

@Gigi: discriminators everywhere. Although to be true, I'd move away from you also if you sneezed in front of me.

@Asphodel: Maybe it was Gigi's fb status. Coffee doesn't make you blog?

@Anki: that's the new black.

Anonymous said...

Hmm.


-A