The bastards in accounting took our coffee away. The good kind that is (they left the bad variety there). Something to do with cost cutting and the like.
It's surprising how much an average corporation survives on the daily cup of coffee. You come to my office and I'll show you zombies like the kind you nightmared about. Zombies with good taste mind you, cause we refuse to touch the bad coffee, even with a ten foot pole.
Also, our first kill is going to be an accountant.
I've got the flu. The seasonal flu that is. Not the swine kinds. But everytime I sneeze in the subway, people turn away and look at me as if they're about to report me to the CDC, in case I sneeze again. I always try and sneeze again. It's fun to play with people's fears. Paranoid people are the lowest in Darwin's hierarchy and need to be flushed out.
You think if I sneezed a third time they might have a stroke and die?
Played poker 2 weekends in a row. Lost in poker two weekends in a row. My phuphaji always said "unlucky in cards, lucky in love" after he'd thrash me in courtpiece. I repeated that to myself two weekends in a row. Nothings changed.
Actually, I take that back. A lot has changed. Maybe it's the peekaboo of summer or the possibility of a brilliant holiday in France in June. Or just that I had an ice cream cone with hot chocolate sauce dribbled liberally over it. Regardless.
So fuck them accountants. I'm buying my own coffee.