Monday, February 16, 2009

Redemption Song

NYC, Feb 15, 2009

A coffee shop - a generic name for a place where for centuries a tradition of soul stirring conversations and life changing decisions have often been made.

One such conversation between a wise grandmother and her about-to-take-on-the-world granddaughters.


“....and if you have to choose between looks, money and a man who can make you laugh, choose the latter. The other two often lose their charm very fast...”


She also went on to complain a lot (as is the nature of the old) and said something to the effect that you young people will ignore this advice and go on to make the mistakes my generation made all over again (and while you're at it, some new ones). But at least you’ll learn faster (although harder) that way.

After all, dear grandmother, initiation by fire is the best advice.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Common People

I always knew it. Felt it in my blood...literally...hehe. (Yes, if you'll excuse me, I am in fact laughing at my own joke, but don't worry, you'll hopefully get it once you've read the post).

So, on a recent trip to the Mothership, my grandmother told me this tale of yore, about us (the family that is) being of royal descent. Yes I know, I did a double take as well. But dear reader, for better or worse, true blue I am. Lets just accept that and move on.

For as you know, grandmothers can't lie.
So here's the truth then.

Apparently, my great grandfather was the king of this small (or was it medium) kingdom in North India. The great behind the grandfather lends him enough ancestory to have been around the Mutiny of 1857. Although he did win a medal in British India, I am not sure what else happened...whether he fought or sipped chai all day long...for this part of the story was left vague by said grandmother (If I remember correctly, at that time in the story telling, someone had got Rasmalai and as you know, grandmothers can't resist Rasmalai).

Now after the Rasmalai, it transpired that my king ancestor had 2 daughters from one wife and one daughter from another and no son. But as was the nature of the disease that afflicted most royals in those days, he went and adopted a son. The rest as they say is history. That thankless bastard, on great grandpa's death, threw the 3 daughters out and took over the kingdom.

One of those wives was my great grandmother. God bless her. Hope she's throwing rotten tomatoes from heaven into hell at the bugger.

So there ends my sad but true tale. I should have been born in a palace with glittering chandeliers under royal guard protection and the watchful eye of a scheming minister, but instead was born in a private hospital in a dusty town called Gurgaon. I am what is commonly called, in exile.

Some say it was obvious to the eye after meeting me, the royalty bit that is, but why dwell on that. Although, I do hope my maths teacher somehow gets to know off this and realises I was right all along. Doing Maths homework is no way to spend a prince's school life.

To make up for my Maths teachers ignorance I recited this story to my boss. His response - "So, now you want to be addressed as Your Highness?".

Sigh, everyone's got a funny bone here.

I said "Well, I was really looking for a raise, but yes, I'll settle for your highness".
At which he guffawed.

Bloody Common People!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Brimful Of Asha

I've been working for a decent number of years now. And there's that feeling every now and again that I could have done so much more.

I don't mean work-wise, no. I never intended out ever to do more at the 9 to 5. Work's for the working class. I'm a bit of the dreaming class. We rarely attach much to what happens at the desk.

I mean otherwise.

For you see, I've always believed that ambition should be a negative word.
Hobbyist, explorer, adventurer and their derivatives on the other hand, should be words worth more than their weight in gold.

For you see, I've also always believed that I was born in the wrong century. A few centuries earlier and I'd be discovering new lands, fighting off people discovering my land, sailing on ships amid tumultuous seas, courting women I shouldn't be courting, a Romeo to your Juliet and if a girl, a Viola to your Duke. And yes probably dying very young. Can't win em all can you.

....

As you've well imagined, this is me having resorted to dreaming at work, for I've had enough of this fucking spreadsheet.