I’m eating cholesterol free icrecream with diet coke poured liberally over it as we speak. Fat free America is slowly but deliberately creeping into my kitchen.
I’m also chatting with Australis as we speak. I tell her this. Her response “what kind of garbage is that?” makes me reach out for some Cheetos.
I’m easily influenced.
Oh, funny thing happened a while back...I was in a bar with one of my squash buddies. We were winding down after a game and I noticed a strange apparatus on the bar. It instantly brought back memories of one of the craziest nights I have ever had. In Prague. 3 people and 2 Absinthe shots each. That’s all it had taken.
I recounted said night to squash buddy.
He said “Wow, that is a crazy night, but more importantly what the fuck is Absinthe?”
You would be happy to know that I wacked him for his ignorance (I'm of the spare-the-rod-spoil-the-child side of life).
So I told him “Basically it’s rumoured to be a hallucinogenic”.
We ordered 2 shots. It was the american watered down version, so we ordered 1 more. I know, americans, plich!
Anyway, after those 3 shots, we hummed and hawed for a while and in one of those moments of silence that usually ensue in conversations, he proceeded to start texting. And for some reason he really seemed engrossed in the texting. Also, at the same time, a whole bevy of beautiful yet slut-ily dressed girls descended into the bar (The Lord, He Giveth every now and then).
Squash buddy looks up from his texting, looks around at all the girls and says “wow, this Absinthe shit really works!”.
I need smarter friends.
We did have another shot and he was highly disappointed that the "hallucinogenic" didn't make the girls take their clothes off.