Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Easy Lucky Free

Writers block could perhaps attempt to capture it. After all there’s the writer’s strike going on and the hamster-on-a-treadmill in my brain thinks its entitled to one too. Him and me are still negotiating. So justifiably, I was afraid to venture forth alone. Also, Jon Stewart’s disastrous attempt is not helping one’s confidence. One needs hamsters, one does.

But, maybe just this once. Just this one post without the bloody hamster. We’re in uncharted territory here people. I can feel the hamster shiver.

Also, carrying on with the elaborate excuses (to whom I am not sure), my erstwhile mucho free time seems to have disappeared. Poof!…just walked away and was gone. And, I need sleep. Even if it comes in little installments, I’ll take it. But its disappeared too. Poof! in those Archie comics, leaving a white cloud behind.

I read somewhere that instead of sleeping 8 hours at a stretch, some scientists reckon, the optimal sleeping habit would be to sleep 30 seconds and then be awake the next 1 minute and then sleep the next 30 seconds and so on.

This reeks of a mad scientist theorising on the days when there is no lightning in the skies, and so obviously, poor chap has nothing “mad scientisty” to do. And faithful Igor’s catching up on his golf. But still....muy absurdo this theory is...and my mother wanted me to be a scientist!

Why can’t these fukkers concentrate instead on getting a teleportation device going (yes yes, its the long distance relationship (LDR) that makes me wish for that evermore, but c’mon, its a win win for everyone, unless, parents or unwanted friends can visit unannounced. Hmm...ok, maybe there’s a reason after all).

It would be a disaster dating someone who was on the wrong 30-second schedule though. Right?

Lover1: “oh, the ways in which I love thee are so many, walking on a naples beach, I’d squeeze...”

Lover2 popping back to life after 30-second “optimal” nap

Lover2: “...and like I was saying, I was so brilliant at work today, worked till 10 in the night, wrapped the deal and my boss is going to shower me with money ”

Lover1: “dammit lover2! this is crazy. You never get me, you don’t listen to what I say and are so self absorbed”

Lover2:”Look who’s talking, cause....wait wait, don’t sleep, not when I was...ah hell!”

Hmm...maybe, its not hard to conceive that there are indeed people on different 30-second schedules.

Here’s hoping you find the right 30-second schedule person.

(Ah, that could so be a South Park moment there, complete with serious soundtrack in the end).


Aurora said...

That hamster in your head must lonely and scared, what with all that dark, empty space around him. :P And I didn't know you read Archies also. My respect for you went up a notch there.

Oh and before 30s sleep compatibility - we's be lucky to find people we can stand for 30 seconds and vice versa, dontcha think. How often does that happen huh? Huh?

CrazyDiamond said...

The Archies keep the hamster from not feeling lonely and scared :)

yes, 30s sleep is an euphemism of course, and perhaps doesn't happen much and even when it does, it could be quite a let down.

I'm best friend with the devil's advocate I know :)

a-live said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
a-live said...

:) the post justifies atleast part of the name! :P Crazy!

loved reading through it!
ROFLing @ the lover's tiff n 30s schedule!

P.S: it'll be difficult to find someone with a matching 30 s schedule...there's a dearth of even the mismatched ones! LOL..I do so agree with aurora!

Amen to your hope still! :)