Where is the contract? You signed it didn't you? Well then, produce the document. Demonstrate the reason why your life is not your own. Once we have been shown the legal paperwork that clearly binds you to a person or situation, we will have more sympathy with you. But if you cannot produce this, we have to ask whether some of your current pain is self-inflicted. Might you be making a sacrifice out of a misplaced sense of guilt?