Wednesday, April 28, 2010

California Stars

I have the time, and I don't have the time.
I want to write, and I don't want to write.
I have those words on the tip of my tongue, the bite of my finger,
and yet it feels like I don't.
In that sense it's like an everyday day.

I used to have a lot to say. Actually I still do. But perhaps now, because I'm happy, I mean happier...with the status quo, the words come coated with a paint of laughter, a tint of contentment.

Tragedy makes good writers. Contended writers on the other hand sound boring, even to themselves.

But they wouldn't want it any other way.

But I will say things, soon I will shout and rant and blurt. I will jump to conclusions, I will make my assumptions, I will dispense existential angst at will and I will wander aimlessly as well. The paint of laughter and the tint of contentment though, will not fade. It's a permanent structure now and as permanent structures go...unfadeable.

...cause it's on the tip of my tongue, the bite of my fingers.

12 comments:

Cornycopious said...

So, wedded bliss continues, I presume?
You know, sometimes I am a little surprised at how much I like being married! When I was not, I used to think that a lifetime with someone sounds pretty daunting, but it seems pretty easy now :)
Here's to many more painted years!

juskaulani said...

I like the full circle ending about something being on the tip of your toungue. I really like it.

diipo said...

I think you are very talented... keep sharing.

Australis said...

You contented cat you, messages to answer karo!

May A. said...

you sound so amazing. That sounded really wrong. You probably don't know my page, its new. But you could help what was it like in 7th grade for you. Girls in the world don't know how to talk to guys ... I'm one of them. Help us please.

Anonymous said...

Great words.

Anki said...

the other law of thermodynamics

content and happy blogger is inversely propotional to the no of posts

blah

i suked at physics

Ambrosia Ruth said...

I love that your want to write and inability to resulted to something so beautiful, and nicely put :)

Anonymous said...

I want to leave a message but I can't be bothered to leave a message. I want to say this is bollox and this is bollox

CrazyDiamond said...

@Cornycopious: clink clink. To surprises, good ones.

@juskaulani: I like the full circle adjectiv-ising.

@diipo: thanks. Will do.

@Australis: :). I'll call and talk to you for 9 minutes. And then I'll call and talk to you for 90 minutes. I'll answer all the messages.

@May A.: I don't know how to talk to guys or girls. I explore. Don't ask for help. Explore.

@ Anon: thanks.

@Anki: I loved physics. And then they brought about the boards to my table. I hate exams.

@Ambrosia Ruth: thanks, it just...flowed.

@Anon: Isn't everything?

maddie said...

i really enjoy reading your blog, it's so artfully written. and the song titles as blog titles are a great idea :)

wiseling said...

Sometimes I miss the pain and the tragedy, because they moved my fingers across the keys, sweeping aside stray ashes, to be honest, and raw.

Now I'm despicably content, and terribly happy. And itching to write.