Allow me to introduce you to the anti-resolutions.
It's something like French beer. Sure it exists, but do you really want to try it? And then like the wise kid said "there's only one way to find out...".
So why not? Why not a year full of indulgences, excesses and beating the nagging, creeping desire of improvements to a pulp. And then drinking that pulp while eating bacon and sausages. Caviar on the side. After all what's breakfast without tiny fish eggs, eh?
I'm assuming you're going to try and lose some weight...why not, the world and his wife's doing it. And perhaps eat more vegetables, be nicer to people, do something or the other for society.
But that's sooo 2009.
The coming year is all about change. The crazy kind. The wild thing kind. So come join us if you don't want to miss out on the caviar. Ok so caviar tastes horrid and is only a fad. But the bacon. Oh the bacon.
And the baskin icecream, the nirula HCF, the clothes, the splurging on unnecessary but yet essential things, the many different alcohols you haven't tried. We're guessing french beer couldn't be all that bad. Your body is crying out for them. Screaming for them. If only you could hear it.
Don't worry about the beer belly or the cholestrol or the hangovers. We'll get rid of them in 2011 (man, that'll be a boring year).
Oh and Conor Oberst's back. Fuck, things are looking excessive already. I'm soaking it all in. One caviar egg at a time.