Jamaica did something bad yesterday. I know that because I live in the west village in Manhattan.
For you see, the west village is also where the best known gay bar in the city claims residence (this is ofcourse purely coincidental).
Now yesterday, after what was a grueling day at work, I got out of the subway stop and made my way home. I passed said bar and noticed a fair crowd gathered outside the bar, complete with a camera crew from some TV station, like some buzzing irritating fly.
Movie crews are always shooting in Manhattan, and the west village in particular, so after a while it becomes part of the background very soon. Glamour and the movies are enchanting only as long as they’re not easily accessible.
But this was different. There was black liquid flowing down the streets.
Bear with me.
Apparently the Jamaicans had pissed off the Gay and Lesbian community somehow. I’m not sure how those hippy liberal buggers managed that, but they did. And the gay bar, in a show of reproach, had decided never to serve Jamaican rum ever again. Fair enough. But...but they went as far as to actually empty their whole stock of Jamaican rum on the streets.
Allow me to catch my breath.
Now, it’s a universal truth that it takes a lot for a man to throw or waste alcohol away. But to throw what is probably a years supply is just plain ridiculous. I mean c'mon, there are so many other options. Resort to violence, sing hip hop songs to jamaicans (they hate that), do a protest rally, don't go to jamaica ever (99.99% of their GDP is from tourism. That should hurt).
This though, is just pushing things way too far.
I felt like Captain Jack Sparrow felt when that numbnut of a woman burned his cache of rum on that island.
And I’m still seething.
If anyone suggests burning away jamaican grown marijuana, I'm going to resort to violence. While singing hip hop songs.