Friday, April 17, 2009

Jamaica Farewell

Jamaica did something bad yesterday. I know that because I live in the west village in Manhattan.

For you see, the west village is also where the best known gay bar in the city claims residence (this is ofcourse purely coincidental).

Now yesterday, after what was a grueling day at work, I got out of the subway stop and made my way home. I passed said bar and noticed a fair crowd gathered outside the bar, complete with a camera crew from some TV station, like some buzzing irritating fly.

Movie crews are always shooting in Manhattan, and the west village in particular, so after a while it becomes part of the background very soon. Glamour and the movies are enchanting only as long as they’re not easily accessible.

But this was different. There was black liquid flowing down the streets.

Bear with me.

Apparently the Jamaicans had pissed off the Gay and Lesbian community somehow. I’m not sure how those hippy liberal buggers managed that, but they did. And the gay bar, in a show of reproach, had decided never to serve Jamaican rum ever again. Fair enough. But...but they went as far as to actually empty their whole stock of Jamaican rum on the streets.

Now then…
Allow me to catch my breath.

Now, it’s a universal truth that it takes a lot for a man to throw or waste alcohol away. But to throw what is probably a years supply is just plain ridiculous. I mean c'mon, there are so many other options. Resort to violence, sing hip hop songs to jamaicans (they hate that), do a protest rally, don't go to jamaica ever (99.99% of their GDP is from tourism. That should hurt).

This though, is just pushing things way too far.

I felt like Captain Jack Sparrow felt when that numbnut of a woman burned his cache of rum on that island.

And I’m still seething.

If anyone suggests burning away jamaican grown marijuana, I'm going to resort to violence. While singing hip hop songs.


Mystique said...

not good. not good at all.
stoopids couldn't sell the rum or what?
PS the numbnut of a woman burnt the rum for a REASON.

shenanigans said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Serendipity said...


What if Jamaica issues a suitable public apology and the GLC (Gay Lesbian Community) forgives them.

Anonymous said...

Do you live on Christopher street as most of the gay bars and lounges are still there?

The happy traveller said...

tsk, tsk, What is this world coming to? When even innocent Jamaican Rum isnt safe....brings a tear to my eye it does.

- the artist formerly known as alcoholic

wiseling said...

Your comment on my blog leaves me confused.

As for the rum, it is a damn shame.

shenanigans said...

Hmmm... from what I know of Jamaicans, I somehow can't see them getting worked up over even this!

But yes, a sad, sad waste.

Renovatio said...

I've been playing GTA 4 and I can't understand a word out of any of the Jamaican characters.

Could something like that have caused this? :D

CrazyDiamond said...

@Mystique: Yeah, I thought of reasoning with them on that. Ah well.
PS - so you say.

@Serendipity: hehehe...It's actually the LGBT community. google that.
But that would be hilarious.

@Anon: Yes, thereabouts. And I wouldn't know. Haven't they all relocated to Chelsea?

@The Happy Traveller: I told you so.

@Wiseling :It does? I'll try and elaborate. After some rum. I'm still crying hoarse on the shame.

@Shenanigans: yeah me too. They must have done something really bad to drive people to this.

@Renovatio: Maybe something like this could have caused your GTA4 jamaican characters to go all crazy.